Saturday, August 9, 2008


Finally. After much research and intense searching, I finally have completed one of my life's goals. I officially own the greatest movie of all time.

Forget your Citizen Kane, your Seventh Seal, your Fellini, Kurosawa, Renoir, Cassavetes. I have something even better. Something so stunning, so powerful, so beautiful that it renders all other films worthless.

I have MEGAFORCE: where it is Deeds that matter, Not Words and where the Good Guys Always Win! Even in the Eighties!!! MEGAFORCE, a directorial effort by stunt man Hal Needham is little more than a feature length highlight reel showing off his SFX prowess (all the movies he directed are like that. See: Cannonball Run, Smokey and the Bandit, Stroker Ace) with little plot to justify the absurdly over the top action and destruction taking place before our eyes. In this case, the story revolves around a super-secret army of military geniuses who sneak into hostile countries and stealthily eliminate threats to world peace. That is, so long as your definition of "stealth" is "riding in on dune buggies and motorcycles outfitted with machine guns, rocket launchers, and lazer cannons and using them to create as much unmissable havoc and destruction as humanly possible. And then some".

Yeah, it's that kind of movie. MEGAFORCE is, without question, solely responsible for the stereotype of action movies as nothing but random, senseless, unnecessary explosions. Don't believe me? Take a gander at the highlight reel below, which shows three members of the force, including fearless leader BARRY BOSTWICK~!~!~!~! taking out innocent party balloons that just chanced to drift by on the wind with explosions that rival Hiroshima. Also, revel in the glory of Barry Bostwick's flying motorcycle, AKA the world's worst special effect.

Oh yeah. I am soooooo reviewing this one.

No comments: